Why Do People Do What They Do?

     Here lately it has occurred to me that people do some pretty stupid things. I do some pretty stupid things sometimes too, so I am included in the "people". I really don't understand why said people don't take into consideration how what they're doing will affect those around them - those they supposedly care about. I am totally guilty of this, too. Most of the time it's my bluntness that gets me in trouble. I have thought a lot about my "problem" this morning and last night.
     You see, I have a huge issue with people saying things behind other peoples' backs. That makes me very SUPER angry. So instead, I say what I need to say to their face. Sometimes this is okay because I manage to keep in all the mean thoughts and replace them with constructive thoughts. However, recently I may have let a few of those mean thoughts slip out. Honestly, I don't have any sympathy for the person I let the mean thoughts slip out about, you know? But at the same time, I don't feel that it was very Christ-like of me to give this person a piece of my mind.
     I thought about it and you know, when Christ was here on Earth He was good friends with this guy Judas. (not to say that the person I let have it is as bad off as Judas - bear with me haha) Judas was the epitome of a bad friend. As his final act of his friendship with Jesus, Judas turned Jesus over to be crucified for a little bit of silver. How lame right? But even Judas, a big fat JERK, felt really bad after he did that - so much that he killed himself. The fact that Judas felt bad helps me to feel better because it makes it a little easier to believe that other people MUST have consciences. However, the real purpose of this story and what really spoke to me was how Jesus handled it. Jesus = God. God = all-knowing. All-knowing = "knows the end from the beginning". So Jesus must have known all along that Judas would betray Him, you know? But yet somehow He managed to live with Judas on a daily basis, and more than that, He managed to love Judas. So with that said, I have realized how un-Christ-like it was of me to say what I said and to be so VERY angry with the person that is hurting people that mean a lot to me.
     God has brought me a long way between last night and this morning. Last night I tried to pray about it and I couldn't even make myself ask God to give me forgiveness. I didn't want to forgive this person - much less admit that I was wrong for telling said-person what I thought. But you know what? No matter how disappointed, angry and confused I am with this person, I can only love Christ as much as I love my enemies.
     That doesn't mean that everything is all rainbows and unicorns now. I am still quite hurt. But I have at least come to the point where I know that what I did was wrong, and I am giving it to God to help me forgive and eventually love said-person again. I am not sure how/when I will be able to bring myself to an apology, but I know that God can help me come to that point. In the mean time, I have other people that I need to make things right with. This darn tongue of mine.... haha Somethings are better left un-said. :)

But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. - James 3:8