May 30, 2013


Hey guys... So the "blogging machine" plan didn't work out but now it's summer and I'm back!


For the past year since I have graduated from Fountainview, I have changed dramatically. Some for the good, some for the not-so-good. However, I am trying to figure out who I want to be. If there is one thing I can honestly say that I am thankful for, it's my boyfriend, Tyler Lee Cockerill. We have had some really excellent times and some really hard times, but I am very convinced that there's a reason he's stayed in my life... Many reasons.

I write about Tyler tonight mostly because I miss him... A lot. He left for Basic Combat Training at Fort Jackson in Columbia, SC yesterday. It was a scary, terrible, aching feeling watching him pass through security at the airport and it hasn't really gotten better since he left.

We met about 9.5 months ago on our first day of Freshman English class at the University of Kentucky. I came to class late (shocker right? lol) and decided that the most appealing seat in the room would be beside a shy-looking cutie and an arrogant fraternity guy (who I was sure wouldn't talk to me anyway). The "shy-looking cutie" was none other than my beloved boyfriend, Tyler. Our teacher made us play an ice-breaker game where you have to find out the-person-next-to-you's name, where they're from, their major, their favorite hobby, etc. and then introduce them to the class. I ended up introducing Tyler to the class. And in case you're curious, he's from Louisville, his major is Nursing and his favorite hobby is basketball :) We got to talking about his major (as I am also studying Nursing) and found out that we had 4 of our 6 classes TOGETHER! I had no clue where I was going - while Tyler's big brother Josh had previously attended UK - so I asked Tyler where our next class was. He gave me vague directions but we were walking the same way so I figured I couldn't get too lost. I had to stop at the bike rack though because I took my bike everywhere, until I noticed that Tyler was waiting for me. He said something about not being sure if he pointed me in the right direction, so he said I could follow him to the right street and then I'd find my way. He was quite surprised when I walked my bike all the way there! We talked about everything and laughed our heads off all the way there, then sat together in class. He went from seeming a little nervous about talking to me to laughing like we'd been friends for years. We were both starving after the anatomy lecture, so we went to Jamba Juice together after class. Eventually he walked me to my ride and asked for my number. And the rest is pretty much history. We've been laughing, hanging out and falling in love ever since.

We had discussed religion a few times. Tyler and I both had amazing grandfather's involved in our lives, and we both had been through losing those amazing men. Tyler's grandpa was his example of Jesus and the main religious influence in his life. I got caught up in other things over the summer and in college, so it wasn't a big deal to me that Tyler wasn't "Adventist" as long as he was a Christian. We started discussing Fountainview and how I felt about backsliding after graduation and whatnot and he seemed genuinely interested in my beliefs. And that's another way that I fell even deeper in love with him... He supports me, even now, in getting back on track. We read our bibles together and one of the last things he said before he got on his plane to Basic Combat Training was "Don't forget to pray lots!". The last night that he was home, we read a chapter or two from Matthew and I bawled my eyes out. Tyler isn't just a boyfriend - he inspires me to be a better person. A lot of people see him in a lot of different ways, but I know Ty. He's caring, hilarious, compassionate, loyal (to a fault!), respectful, quirky, shy around people he doesn't really know but open when you get to know him. I'm not saying he's perfect, but I am definitely saying that he's perfect for me. He loves his sleep and is a real bear if he doesn't get enough of it, but that's life. He gets his feelings hurt and won't hesitate to fight back, but who doesn't? But he's quick to apologize, quick to say "I love you", he can tell when I need a hug and he's quick to give a lot of them. He knows me more than anyone else does, in such a different way than anyone else. And he loves me for me - not for what most teenage guys "love" girls for. Do we fight? Absolutely. Do we act immature sometimes? You betcha. But at the end of the day, missing him is still the reason that I'm laying here crying tonight and writing about him. Because I want everyone to know about the incredible young man that I get to call my Soldier.

Dear God,
Please keep my soldier safe. He's homesick, lonely, enduring physical hardship, and trying to get through this training in the allotted time so that he can come home. I miss him so much but I know that You gave me him, so help me be strong for him. Thank You for being there for him when I can't be, and please help him lean on You and get to know You better through this hard time. Help him to know that I am thinking of him, I miss him, and I love him very much. This next 3 months will be really hard on us, but help us to be not just Army Strong, but Jesus Strong. I'm sorry for all the times I've screwed up and chose other things above You. Help Tyler and me to gain a better relationship with You and a deeper dependence on You this summer. Thanks for hearing me and again, for being with him when I can't. I love you both very much. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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